CubsTracks: In the Beginning Edition

I have known for quite a while that Father Time was not a man with which to trifle, given what I have found out over the past few years he can do to your joints, your hearing, and your ability to digest double-pepperoni-mushroom-and-extra-cheese pizza after 9 PM.

But, turns out that he's a veritable Sylvia Fowler as well; try to keep the fact that your birthday was this week a secret, for instance, and he whispers hints into waiting ears that lead to remarks about how they thought Steely Dan was "more your era".

With that said, I now launch a recurring feature, titled "CubsTracks"*, in which the deep dark secrets of my iPod shall be revealed (if they haven't been already) in an attempt to counter Clock Daddy'z malicious gossip and convince people that yes, I AM still closer to thirty than I am to forty. (Not a word, Jamie.)

Besides, all the other cool kids are doing it.

And, because I worship at the altar of Steve Jobs ("Our Father, who art in Cupertino, hallowed be thy brand"), you too may find these songs on the soul- and wallet-sucking DRM-encoded vampire monstrosity we call....iTunes.

Before we get started, the California mandatory warnings about my musical tastes and the effects of listening:

• My iPod is officially banned from the communal speaker dock at work -- not because of obscenity but because, as my boss wryly put it, "We already provide free espresso."
• (okay, maybe a bit of obscenity. Just for effect. Really. I mean......)
• This is the serious bass department. Subtlety is upstairs, next to the fitting rooms and behind tube tops.
• Playing any of these may get you drug-tested (or an invite to the next rave, depending on your coworkers)
• That repeated knocking and screaming you hear down in the pit of your stomach is normal; it's your inner drag queen trying to escape.

For our very first theme, I tried to narrow it down to two or so singles in my regular playlist that seemed most apropos of me, how I think, and how I act -- if for no other reason than to stimulate comments discussion ("WHAT? Are you CRAZY? That's nothing LIKE you!"). With that in mind, here they are:

1. Beautiful Life, Ace of Base
2. Little Bird, Annie Lennox

Listen. Discuss. Berate.

(*No, it's not clever wordplay. It's the only combination of spellings that didn't confuse me with a grade-school newspaper. I get enough weirdo searches as it is.)