A home robbery suspect allegedly tripped an alarm at a house on the 2200 block of Clement Street at 4:10 a.m. Dec. 17. Arriving officers saw that the glass on the front door had been shattered. The suspect took cash and 300 cartons of cigarettes.
Obviously, this house is the location of:
1) John's latest flip
2) QJ's next orgy ("If I can't smoke it, maybe I can absorb it from their skin!")
3) Jamie's new agricultural export venture
4) Famous Author Rob Byrnes's secret writing studio
5) The anti-Malcontent insurgency.
Of course it wasn't me. No cancer stick (or even a doobie, for that matter) has crossed these rosebud lips, torched this trachea, or polluted these pristine lungs.
But I do wonder what the buyer of my college roommate's house ultimately did with our four-foot-tall garden sculpture made entirely of Copenhagen lids.