Um.....Yeah

What Car Would You Be?
	You would be a Ferrari Enzo. You are quick, slick and ever-so-cool. Your ostentatious showiness may put some people off, but your friends know you're the real deal.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

I showed my husband this first; he is still laughing, mainly because, as he put it, he didn't know that "Ferrari" was Italian for "tightwad".

(h/t Nate Nelson)

CubsTracks: In the Beginning Edition

I have known for quite a while that Father Time was not a man with which to trifle, given what I have found out over the past few years he can do to your joints, your hearing, and your ability to digest double-pepperoni-mushroom-and-extra-cheese pizza after 9 PM.

But, turns out that he's a veritable Sylvia Fowler as well; try to keep the fact that your birthday was this week a secret, for instance, and he whispers hints into waiting ears that lead to remarks about how they thought Steely Dan was "more your era".

With that said, I now launch a recurring feature, titled "CubsTracks"*, in which the deep dark secrets of my iPod shall be revealed (if they haven't been already) in an attempt to counter Clock Daddy'z malicious gossip and convince people that yes, I AM still closer to thirty than I am to forty. (Not a word, Jamie.)

Besides, all the other cool kids are doing it.

And, because I worship at the altar of Steve Jobs ("Our Father, who art in Cupertino, hallowed be thy brand"), you too may find these songs on the soul- and wallet-sucking DRM-encoded vampire monstrosity we call....iTunes.

Before we get started, the California mandatory warnings about my musical tastes and the effects of listening:

• My iPod is officially banned from the communal speaker dock at work -- not because of obscenity but because, as my boss wryly put it, "We already provide free espresso."
• (okay, maybe a bit of obscenity. Just for effect. Really. I mean......)
• This is the serious bass department. Subtlety is upstairs, next to the fitting rooms and behind tube tops.
• Playing any of these may get you drug-tested (or an invite to the next rave, depending on your coworkers)
• That repeated knocking and screaming you hear down in the pit of your stomach is normal; it's your inner drag queen trying to escape.

For our very first theme, I tried to narrow it down to two or so singles in my regular playlist that seemed most apropos of me, how I think, and how I act -- if for no other reason than to stimulate comments discussion ("WHAT? Are you CRAZY? That's nothing LIKE you!"). With that in mind, here they are:

1. Beautiful Life, Ace of Base
2. Little Bird, Annie Lennox

Listen. Discuss. Berate.

(*No, it's not clever wordplay. It's the only combination of spellings that didn't confuse me with a grade-school newspaper. I get enough weirdo searches as it is.)

Do As I Say, Not As I Did and Said I Didn't

Democrat Presidential candidate John Edwards proves many things, not the leasts of which are that shellac makes a perfectly passable coiffure control mechanism and that a candidate's wife can be fully her spouse's equal in pandering.

But the number-one thing Edwards proves, in my opinion, is just how stupid Democrats think voters really are.

Or, as he blithely states:

Asked Friday if his investments damaged his image as a poverty fighter, Edward's said: "No. Everyone knows I am completely committed to eliminating poverty in this country. I have the strongest national predatory lending proposal. These are things I will pursue."

Then again, the fact that Edwards has any supporters at all for his rhetoric, given the $400 haircut, the Versailles-size mansion, the job with the offshore-tax-sheltered hedge fund, and the $55k/hour rate for a speech on poverty.....he may be right.

Peace, Love, and Larceny

The only amazing thing about this is that Secretary of State Governor Thrice-Failed Presidential Candidate Failed US Senate Candidate California Democrat Party Chair Oakland Mayor Attorney General Moonbeam didn't try to blame it on global warming.

Your Handy Field Guide to Homo Ursus, Part I

First off, for those of you who got here through a Google misfire, the type of "bears" to which we will be referring in the next few paragraphs have nothing to do with endangered species, salmon, Knut, Gund, or anything that anyone under the age of 18 should be reading out of idle curiosity.

In other words, we're talking adult topics, and I don't mean mortgages and 401(k) plans (although those can be pretty dirty too).

Anyway, with that warning done, we now return you to your irregularly-scheduled diatribe.

With the addition of young, handsome, and virile QuakerJono of Forgotten Beatitudes to a certain....um, pleasure-oriented....portion of the Interwebs, the question has arisen in numerous forums.....what, exactly, is a bear?

I have pondered for several days on this one, having previously been working under a definition similar to that of Justice Potter Stewart's opinion on what constituted pornography: "I know it when I see it." But, given that you aren't me (a fact for which you should probably be extremely grateful), that probably needs to be fleshed out significantly (as befits a bear) for public consumption.

With that in mind, I have settled on the following -- sort of like if the Minnesota Multiphasic Behavioral Inventory and Jeff Foxworthy banged naughty bits and produced a love child.

YOU MIGHT BE A BEAR IF:

1. "Wax" has two meanings - a noun indicating the stuff candles are made of, and a verb indicating what you should do to your car twice a year.
2. You shop at Old Navy, and you don't care who knows it.
3. "All you can eat" is a challenge, not a description
4. You won't answer the phone on Saturdays because it's people asking you to help them move
5. You tried a cosmopolitan once, but that was just to find out what Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha were talking about.
6. In shopping for furniture, "comfort" takes precedence over "matches the wainscotting".
7. Your drag act is a tribute to Nell Carter, Ethel Merman, or Kirstie Alley pre-Jenny Craig.

YOU ARE EMPHATICALLY NOT A BEAR IF:

1. You know what color the rash is when you overdo the Nair.
2. "Mercedes" is German for "would make a good boyfriend"
3. Flannel is fit neither for wearing or sleeping upon.
4. Your coffee order includes more than "sweetened" or "room for cream".
5. You might have been able to change your own flat tire, but why take the risk of making the manicurist cry?
6. "Beer bust" describes, not an event, but what you think of the beverage in question.
7. You couldn't find your last date when you came back from the bathroom because he was standing behind a lamppost.

And here you thought this was complicated.

I Say Jehovah, You Say Je-Allah.....

Um.....right.

Personally, I'm all for making sure we're on the same page, but in this case, we're jumping books, people, and a few thousand years worth of history to get there.

Merv Griffin Should Have Died of AIDS, The Bitch

Which is the gist of Mike Signorile's The Gist.

Words frankly fail me at this point.

Especially given this rant.

First off, Griffin's closet kept him shockingly silent while he had access to the president of the United States as his own people were dying. This man was intimate with the Reagans (and Nancy Reagan in particular) during the height of the AIDS epidemic in 80s, with few treatments available and fear-mongering having gripped the media. Griffin's gay brothers -- his friends, his lovers, his people across America, around the world -- suffered and met horrific deaths. And yet, because he was closeted it is highly unlikely he ever made the connection for the Reagans (between himself and those who were suffering and dying), pointed out the government negligence, or even talked openly as a gay person.

As I have pointed out previously, blaming the Reagan administration for the spread of HIV is roughly akin to blaming them for your purchase of parachute pants; the timing is right, but the correlation is way more dependent on your individual actions than on theirs.

What makes Signorile's rant in this case sadly hilarious and ironic is how he blasts Griffin for supposedly being closeted and promiscuous -- but can't explain how Griffin lived to be 82 and died of prostate cancer. He argues that Griffin's "lovers" were all dying of AIDS, but never bothers to explain how Griffin, who he claims was f*cking everything on two legs, so magically avoided it.

In short, Signorile's argument shows that closeted gay men avoid AIDS and die of old-age diseases, wealthy, satisfied, and respected, while out men die young of AIDS, poor, unhappy, and ignored.

It would be funny if it weren't so tragically misguided.

In my opinion, this is the main reason that the AIDS epidemic is now well into its second quarter-century and entrenched to the endemic stage in the gay population -- so much that 15 to 19 new infections in San Francisco per week, all of a disease that is almost completely preventable, is considered an improvement.

In short, it's because Mike Signorile and his ilk would rather blame the behavior of dead straight people than deal with that of live gay ones.

The Power of Love

The case of Cecil Sinclair, a gay man whose funeral High Point Church in Arlington, Texas refused to host after they found out about his sexual orientation, has brought the usual howls of outrage from the usual suspects -- which, as QuakerJono succintly notes, seems inconsistent with their usual disdain for living gay people being associated with any church.

The best reaction I have seen, though, comes from the partner of the deceased himself, Paul Wagner.

Hopefully your reading this helps to make sense of what occurred. I fully understand the church’s right to deny us the use of their facilities. I also served in the military, (US Army, 1987-2002), and I have fought to defend their freedom of religion and freedom of choice.

If just one couple or family can be saved from having to suffer the same as we did, I would consider all this to have been worthwhile. I truly believe all congregations need to have more open communication between all their members, so that the person who had initially welcomed us into their church would have known that is was not acceptable in the eyes of their leaders, and the entire issue would have been avoided.

If we had known from the beginning we were not welcome, or the offer had never been made, we would have just continued making the same arrangements we finally had in the end. Nothing we did for Cecil's remembrance ceremony was changed, other than the location.

Now that is personal faith, turning the other cheek, and selflessness.

And it also drives home the wisdom of Proverbs 25:21 - 22 (and repeated in Romans 12:20):

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the LORD will reward you.

Thank you, Mr. Wagner. With your words, you've made the most powerful argument that one possibly can: the ability to respect and show love to those who have rejected you.

The very definition of "Christlike".

Stop Hitting Yourself

It's been a rough week in Newark, NJ.

In a city where gun violence has become an all too common part of daily life, these shootings were enough to chill even the most hardened residents: Four young friends shot execution-style in a schoolyard just days before they were to head to college.

Three were killed after being forced to kneel against a wall and then shot in the head at close range Saturday night, police said.

Talk about your effect on the community.

"Anyone who has children in the city is in panic mode," Donna Jackson, president of Take Back Our Streets, a community-based organization. "It takes something like this for people to open up their eyes and understand that not every person killed in Newark is a drug dealer."

But now, the plot thickens with the arrests of suspects.

Details about Carranza's background emerged Friday as police looked for three more suspects.

Carranza had been using a bogus Social Security number, Sheriff Armando Fontoura said. Carranza is an undocumented immigrant from Peru, his lawyer acknowledged in court.

Oh, but it gets better.

Carranza had been scheduled to appear in court Monday to answer two previous indictments. One accuses him of sexually assaulting and threatening to kill a 13-year-old, a girlfriend's child. Another charges him with an array of assault and weapons offenses.

Caveats, of course; Newark's police could be doing their roundup of usual suspects, and it seems quite obvious that they know this guy fairly well. Besides, why does it really matter?

Because Newark is a sanctuary city, in which its ordinances specifically prohibit law enforcement officers from asking about immigration status or cooperating with US Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Which is likely why this guy, despite having been indicted for numerous other crimes, was still walking the streets, free as a bird, versus being detained and deported, as US immigration law requires.

What I really don't get is why a police department like Newark, which is by all accounts overwhelmed in a city where crime is surging, is not using the fact that los Federales are more than willing to get these people, whose very presence is breaking the law in the first place, off the streets and out of the country. And it's not just about keeping "rich whites" safe; it would be the height of inanity to argue that people who would allegedly commit these sort of crimes outside their ethnic community are not doing the same or worse inside it.

After all, Colorado, for one, didn't waste any time passing a law explicitly blocking cities and other legal entities from passing laws or formulating policies to stop police officers from doing exactly that -- although, granted, that was after two police officers were killed by an illegal immigrant who, thanks to Denver's sanctuary policy, had been previously stopped for traffic violations multiple times without having his immigration status checked and who had worked under false documentation at a restaurant owned by the then-mayor of Denver.

But, until more people start speaking up, people will be in the amusing (or sickly ironic) situation like I am, stuck in a metropolis where the City Attorney and so-called "progressives" are trying to use all sorts of quasi-legal machinations to stop gang activities while ignoring the obvious -- that merely checking and acting upon immigration status for the ones the SFPD has already arrested would give him the means to instantly imprison and get rid of a large chunk of the worst offenders.

But then they'd lose votes, both from the community and the ones they purchase, and we can't have that now, can we?

We Demand the Right to Repeat the Mistakes of Others

The interesting paradox of the French Revolution is that it began with the toppling of the autocratic Bourbon monarchy in the name of freedom, democracy, and liberty.....and then, a mere decade later, signed away all three to the even-more autocratic Napoleon.

In a similar fashion, we now have the spectacle of gays who have agitated against workplace discrimination and sexual harassment now giving it the OK when practiced on others.

Both general state and Federal employment law are very clear: you are not allowed to require a person to take part -- or punish them for refusing to participate -- in activities that they consider offensive unless it is a business necessity and no other reasonable accomodation exists. Furthermore, California law is even more explicit that a person cannot be required to work in situations in which they will be exposed to sexual materials, gestures, or language that could be construed as offensive -- and a manager who orders them to do so is legally liable.

Perhaps what boggles the mind the most is this statement:

Solution to problem:

1. Roll up windows in fire truck
2. Turn on the A/C
3. Talk amongst yourselves and/or turn on radio
4. Ignore cat callers
5. Collect payckeck

Now, imagine that being told to a female driver who complains about men making catcalls and sexual gestures at her when she pulls into a warehouse, and you get the point.

Hopefully this lesbian fire chief is smarter than the last one.

UPDATE: And now, courtesy of Ex-Gay Watch frequent commentor Timothy Kincaid, we learn that it's the firemen's fault for being offended -- and they should be fired.

These particular firefighters found themselves unable to treat all citizens with respect and dignity and they were unable to supportive and responsive to the needs of city government. Clearly they can't do their job and should be replaced by someone who can.

One wonders if he's going to fire the first female employee who complains to him about her coworkers making sexual remarks because she doesn't work well with others.

UP-UPDATE: And yet another Towleroad commentor, "Edina Monsoon", puts up the best nominee for most clueless statement yet.

I mean, come-on! It's sad to see how insecure these guys are in their masculinity.

Read that again; for daring to exercise their legal right to a workplace free from discrimination and harassment, he insults them in a sexual fashion.

UP-UP-UPDATE: The comments section at JoeMyGod has to be seen to be believed.

Basically, an entire community of gays is defending the idea that gays have the right to sexually harass whomever they wish and that straight men should just shut up and take it.

And, by the way, for those who are trying to argue that the San Diego Fire Department can't be held accountable for the behavior of bystanders, please note: California law, specifically Assembly Bill 76, passed in 2003 as a clarification to the Fair Employment and Housing Act, specifically states that employers are liable for failure to prevent sexual harassment of their employees by customers or clients when they knew or should have known that such harassment, catcalls, or exposure to images and actions that would be considered overtly sexual and offensive was likely to take place.

And to argue that no one could expect any of that of a Pride parade is a comedy routine worthy of Jerry Seinfeld.

UP-UP-UPDATE: Now Timothy Kincaid is writing, over at Box Turtle Bulletin, that the firemen are responsible because they didn't just shut up and play along.

Had they been friendly or waved at the people who pay their salary, they might have had a different experience. Few citizens respond well to hostility and arrogance from city employees.

So remember, the next time you see that hottie down at the government desk, feel free to say whatever loud, lascivious, and perverted comment you like to him or her.

After all, the taxpayer is always right -- and they have to take it, or they'll lose their jobs.

Out For The Weekend......

and I betcha can't guess where I'm going.......

The Best Example of Hypocrisy Yet....

John Aravosis whining and crying about the comments posted on other peoples' websites.

One can only imagine the screams of "Bushitler fascism" that would come down if his commentors -- or Kos commentors, for that matter -- were subjected to the same level of investigation and scrutiny that he is demanding the Secret Service do for O'Reilly.

What makes it even funnier is that he is chortling about supposedly affecting Bill O'Reilly's advertising revenue.....but begging at the top of the page that he needs money because "ad sales have fallen dramatically the past few months".

Gee, one wonders why.......really.

As posited before, this blogger is no fan of editing or deleting comments, but there are certain lines.

O'Reilly's commentors crossed them and justly deserved said scrutiny; Aravosis and company, given their long and storied track record of encouraging same, deserve even worse.

A Good Argument For Pseudonyms

As if gay leftists weren't bad enough, now it seems we have crazy naval personnel moving their online feuds into everyday life.

Money quote:

“I’ve worked plenty of arson cases, but never one as bizarre as this one,” (McClellan County Detective James) Pack said. “Most are committed for money or getting back at somebody. This one he blames on the computer. Tavares said if it wasn’t for the computer, this wouldn’t have happened."

Oh, it would have happened; it just wouldn't have been this guy's trailer. There's a big difference between causing bad behavior and simply being the means by which it was precipitated.

And hence the usual problem with democratization of power; it falls to both those who use it wisely and those who do the 180-degree opposite.

As a Resident of San Francisco......

tell me something I don't know.

How Much Does Free Healthcare Cost?

Take a guess.

Add to that the fact that, if Wisconsin employees are anything like my Canadian, British, and other employees, they will still demand that employers provide health insurance -- once they find out that the promise of "everything covered" depends on you defining "everything" as "only on certain things using very conventional treatment, and only if you can find a doctor to do it at our fixed price, provided s/he can fit you in within the next year or so".

As I have said elsewhere, the fastest and best way to ensure universal coverage in this country would be to make insurance premiums tax-deductible -- for both businesses and individuals -- either directly, or through tax-deferral mechanisms on incomes like health savings accounts (HSAs).

Better yet, if you grouse about having to go to bat with and even sue your health insurance provider to get them to pay for things now, imagine what it'll be like when the same people who run such paragons of accuracy and customer service as the IRS and DMV are the ones you have to convince -- and how far your lawsuit against them is going to go.

But again, the point is not insurance coverage; it's using an emotional issue to allow governments to set up yet another program where they tax you today for benefits that they may or may not pay tomorrow, depending on how they feel about it, and which are subject to change at their moment's notice, especially if actually paying you back might cost them with another constituency.

Just like Social Security.

Better Living Through Complete Confusion

The words of the 14th-century logician William of Ockham, "Numquam ponenda est pluralitas sine necessitate," can be paraphrased succintly as, "The simpler, the better".

Obviously, this is not something with which VoteYesMarriage.com is extraordinarily familiar -- as becomes apparent when one reads the wording of their proposed California marriage amendment.

Take a deep breath.

Only marriage between one man and one woman is valid or recognized in California, whether contracted in this state or elsewhere. A man is an adult male human being who possesses at least one inherited Y chromosome, and a woman is an adult female human being who does not possess an inherited Y chromosome. Neither the Legislature nor any court, government institution, government agency, initiative statute, local government, or government official shall abolish the civil institution of marriage between one man and one woman, or decrease statutory rights, incidents, or employee benefits of marriage shared by one man and one woman, or require private entities to offer or provide rights, incidents, or benefits of marriage to unmarried individuals, or bestow statutory rights, incidents, or employee benefits of marriage on unmarried individuals. Any public act, record, or judicial proceeding, from within this state or another jurisdiction, that violates this section is void and unenforceable.

Yes, these people have entirely too much time on their hands. And you read it right; they are out to ban domestic partnerships.

That fact becomes far more apparent in their preamble (emphasis mine):

The People of California have a compelling responsibility to protect the essence of marriage by ensuring that the civil institution of marriage between one man and one woman is not redefined, abolished, or diminished. The People find that marriage between one man and one woman is diminished when government decreases statutory rights, incidents, or employee benefits of marriage shared by one man and one woman, or when government requires private entities to offer or provide rights, incidents, or benefits of marriage to unmarried individuals, or when government bestows statutory rights, incidents, or employee benefits of marriage on unmarried individuals.

Now, one could grant some reasonable logic in this, if the point is to say that the incentive to marry is lost when one can get its benefits without taking on the full responsibility of it. Since the commitment and structure of marriage is good for society as a whole, it does provide strong argument that there should be some incentive for couples to enter into it that goes above and beyond what they can access on their own.

However, when applied to abolish California's domestic-partnership law, that argument makes zero sense. Registered domestic partners do in fact have all the same rights and benefits as a spouse under state law, but they also have exactly the same responsibilities -- including the fact that they are subject to divorce law, versus simply being able to dissolve the partnership. Furthermore, all the state laws this group cites as "requiring" this or that for domestic partners apply only to registered domestic partners.

In short, this amendment isn't about the dilution or diminishment of marriage. It's about a tragically-misinformed belief system that has convinced itself that the essence of marriage -- the commitment expressed by two people to spend a lifetime together and in support of each other -- is somehow conferred by government mandate and is somehow lessened when anyone else is allowed anything even remotely similar.

I am of the mind that the gay community, perhaps more than any other, has had the opportunity to demonstrate that the essence of marriage works quite independently of the legalese. And I think it horribly ironic that both sides in this debate -- the "Equality" California versus VoteYesMarriage.com -- are making the same mistake; they confuse that legalese with that essence.

Little Butch Coupe

Some people have a weakness for spirits, some for tobacco, and some for barely-legal boiz.

In my case, it's four wheels and an engine.

Ever since moving to California, I've wanted a convertible; however, buying a new car when your current one is barely broken in makes zero sense unless you run in circles far more prone to alcoholism and eating disorders than do I.

The solution: a second car. But not just any second car; a convertible that can climb hills like a mountain goat, is reliable, can get into our downhill garage without leaving its exhaust pipe on the berm, and that doesn't cost enough to require a car payment. And, while we're dreaming, it has to be fuel-efficient, parkable in a postage-stamp space, and not look like Skipper should be sitting in it waiting for Barbie to come out of the dress shop.

Ergo, my new baby.




A Geo Tracker, to be teddibly precise.

Yes, as you might expect, it's noisy, it's as fast as eighty horsepower gasping through a California emissions system cannot be, and at 2,189 lbs, it has only slightly more resistance to wind gusts than Nicole Richie. But it hauls up Twin Peaks like a trouper, it glides into the garage with ease, and at 142.5 inches -- a full three inches shorter than a Mini Cooper -- it fits anywhere.


And there's the fleet. With the Tracker to pull around-town and fun duty, the Mazda3 gets all rested up, ready to be turned loose for some serious speed on the open road (or as euphemistically "open" as the 101 ever gets). Best of all, since the Geo is more efficient in the city and the Mazda on the highway, I have actually increased my net gas efficiency as a whole, thus doing my part for Mother Gaia and Manbearpig.

But the jury is still out on the whole Skipper thing.

Cooks In Hours, Not Minutes!

Or so I said when I read this recipe.

Of course, you could save about forty-five minutes, a whole set of salad bowls, and the energy of running the oven if you were just to serve this hot out of the skillet over the tortillas and top it with the lettuce and tomatoes you were going to use for the green salad.

Therein lies the difference between the haute set and cooking Philistines like myself.

Much Ado About Worse Than Nothing

Having recovered from what shall be known as the Noe Valley Hemorrhagic Red-Nosed Dizzy Death virus, it seemed about time to comment on the Human Rights Campaign's circle jerk masturbation session debate candidate forum. For the back story, please refer to The Malcontent's excellent summary and blog roundup.

With that in mind, here are a few truisms.

1. The Republican candidates are not coming -- nor should they.

"Why" should be patently obvious to anyone who saw a) saw HRC's advertisements for the 2004 Presidential campaign , b) has ever heard Melissa Etheridge or Joe Solmonese, who cannot finish a paragraph without bashing Republicans, or c) noticed HRC's own admittance that their primary goal is "to become a steady source of funds and grass-roots support for Democrats -- more akin to a labor union than a single-issue activist group".

The Swift Boat Veterans should not be surprised when John Kerry turns down an invitation to their Veteran's Day picnic; neither should HRC be surprised that Republicans view them like pimples on prom night.


2. The event is fifteen months prior to the elections.

As our mothers used to advise us, when you are invited to someone else's house for supper, it is polite to clean your plate. Rather than offending your hostess by refusing to touch her liver-flavored Brussels Sprouts Surprise, eat it first and get it over with; your hostess will be happy, and you can enjoy the rest of the meal with a clear conscience, knowing that you can refuse seconds without offending her.

The same theory applies here. The candidates are showing up to eat their broccoli, as it were, knowing full well that they can say anything they want from this point forward and the "LGBT community" will still be happy.

But it has to be quick or they'll be late for their 700 Club appearance.


3. There was a reason the "little people" weren't invited.

Mommie and Daddy didn't want it.

Now that HRC has apparently reversed itself and decided to allow even those with less chance than Krusty the Clown of being nominated, let alone elected, to come to its circle jerk masturbation session debate candidate forum, this makes only one thing certain: there will be more softballs thrown at this event than at a lesbian picnic. HRC has never been accused of intelligence in managing media, but even they are not stupid enough to let nutballs who would let people marry cows if they thought it would get minorities to support their campaigns have any chance to upstage those who have been chosen by the DNC for HRC to endorse -- and for gays to unquestioningly support.

That, and if they did, Mommie would get really angry with Joey and Mel.


4. The final nail will be driven in the coffin of HRC's relevance.

People, we're talking about an organization whose leaders endorse and support FMA supporters and who drop tens of millions of dollars on candidates who push state constitutional amendments that it allegedly opposes. They have already stated their only use for gay issues is as a means to channel funds and support to Democrats. They insist that we squander time and effort on things like abortion, opposing Social Security reform, raising taxes, antiwar protests, bashing the religious, and innumerable other things which are not only beyond the ability of even the worst cosmopolitan-and magic-mushroom trip to link to "gay rights", but on which gays can and do legitimately hold multiple positions.

With this circle jerk masturbation session debate candidate forum, one thing will be made clear; HRC is a Democrat political action committee, and that of the most loony-left kind.

And thus, since they claim to represent all gays, we will inextricably be linked with the loony left.

Everyone Hates Mimes....

but they love memes, which come from exactly the same root word (mimeme, which means "something repeated", obviously not adding "to the point of horrid, grating, incessant pain").

All right; hopefully, that was semi-intellectual enough to justify QuakerJono blessing me with his latest "Thinking Bloggers" whatever (thank you, sir; you will be receiving a package from "Plagues2Go.com" shortly).

I don’t agree with NDT all the time. In fact, it’s rare enough that I remark on it mentally whenever it happens. That’s not a bad thing, though, because even though we disagree, I know his positions are well thought out and rarely simple knee-jerk reactions. Occasionally he descends into shameful partisan hackery, but who among us is 100% not-guilty of that? Plus, he’s like the one person I know who’s been banned from multiple blogs for ideas and not just pointless trolling. Part of me thinks if you’re pissing off people that much, you gotta have a viewpoint worth considering.

I'd say that's a pretty accurate and reasonable way of putting it -- and it avoided the use of the term "stubborn jackass", so I suppose we're getting somewhere.

I still think the best description of me came from a previous job, where I was compared to our ancient, donated, retired-from-Southwestern-Bell, not-maintained, and mystically-cursed-by-untold-numbers-of-malevolent-disgruntled-customers food transport van: "Hard to get going, but even harder to stop".

Since I must serve the meme once again and give you five blogs that qualify as Thinking, here goes.

1. Army of Mom. Brutal, wonderful testimony from a bright and talented woman with a wonderful family, a gorgeous husband, and huge.....ummm, tracts of land. The best of solid American family values for which you could ever ask.

2. Lab Kat. Simply the best phrase-turner on the planet. Kat has a take on life that is either completely and inhumanly brilliant or the result of an out-of-control glue sniffing habit. Your call.

3. See Jane Mom. To say she "tells it like it is" ranks right up there in understatement with Noah's weather report calling for light showers and drizzle.

4. Jimbo.info . Likely he won't answer this meme either, but he's one of the sweetest, most uniquely-balanced individuals I have ever met; merely being in his presence makes you feel more intelligent and meaningful. I thought it impossible that dinner with someone could rescue a business trip to the steambath that is DC in late summer for a client who redefined "surly", but he somehow managed it. WOOF!

5. Jack Malebranche. Read and prepare to be annoyed, insulted, amused, provoked, and forced into highest dudgeon. And that's just his introductory paragraph.


(Yes, they DO look almost identical to my last meme. Sorry; brain cells are taking a while to regenerate from the megadoses of Advil I've been taking this week.)

The Man Is Crazy

At least, that's what they said when Mark Cuban was buying the Dallas Mavericks, and we all saw how that turned out.

Now can he do the same for baseball's most loveable losers?

Add Internet billionaire and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban to the list of potential Chicago Cubs buyers.

"I submitted an app," Cuban said in an e-mail to The Associated Press.

Interested parties must submit an application to Major League Baseball to examine the team's finances. Cuban told the Chicago Tribune he sent in the application last week, although he wasn't sure of the date.

Honestly, this sounds right up his alley. Buy a team that languishes on the field, but has brand cachet and support, pump some serious cash into it, bid for the best players, and then work on getting thrown out of games.

Unfortunately, Major League Baseball already has one of those, and his name is "Steinbrenner".

Many people are saying that MLB would never let this go through because of its fanatical devotion to revenue-sharing and salary caps, neither of which are likely to bother Cuban much (or Steinbrenner, once Cuban gets going).

But given the number of online petitions that have already sprung up begging Cuban to do it and lobbying for him to be allowed to do it....people really, really like the idea.

If For No Other Reason Than He Did It.....

here's mine.Charming, no?

Closed On Account of Wishing For Death

Let today be marked as the official observance of my annual summer cold.

If anyone needs me, just follow the scent of cherry-flavored menthol to whatever dark corner in which I chose to collapse in a fetal position.

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's....Hey, Wait a Minute!

Dare to dream, I suppose.

No Surprise There

Chris Crain has discovered, thanks to the efforts of one of his readers, that Democrat Presidential candidate Bill Richardson has a bit of a way with unfortunate Spanish words -- and is more than a bit upset by it.

To me, what Richardson says is irrelevant; I expect nothing but the worst from him, and quite obviously, we got it. But, in my opinion, the real issue exposed by this incident lies elsewhere.

Sixteen months ago, Richardson’s Imus appearance flew under the media
radar, and the Democrat has never publicly acknowledged or apologized for using
the word. That has bothered Denver, Colo.-based Christopher Hubble, a member of the spiritual activist group Soulforce and a blogger.

Hubble was listening to the Imus show that morning, and afterward
alerted Shana Naomi Krochmal, then GLAAD’s media strategist for the Southwest
region.

“I was shocked that an elected official would think he could use a
derogatory epithet simply because he is speaking Spanish and is perhaps assuming
we don’t understand what he is saying,” Hubble wrote later in an email
describing his reaction at the time.

Krochmal told Hubble she would pass the email along to Monica Taher and
Carlos Macias, GLAAD’s “excellent Spanish-language media advocates.” Taher would
say later in an interview for this story that another GLAAD employee decided
instead to go to Equality New Mexico with the information.

“The statewide organization [in New Mexico] asked us not to contact
[Richardson] because that would jeopardize the domestic partnership bill that
the governor was supporting and working on at that time,” Taher said.

Alexis Blizman, executive director of Equality New Mexico (EQNM),
acknowledged that she asked GLAAD not to “go after” Richardson because of his
strong gay rights record, but said the domestic partnership bill was not under
consideration at the time.........

Hubble also asked a friend to inform Media Matters for America about the Imus appearance, and although Media Matters located an MSNBC clip of the exchange between Richardson and Imus and posted it online, the watchdog group took no additional action.

Now, keep in mind that GLAAD, for one, was throwing hissy fits over the use of the word in question and applauding people who called it out as hateful back in 1999 and providing helpful guidebooks on what it actually meant in 2002. Obviously they knew what it meant, and they weren't shy about calling out public figures on such statements -- a statement which I am certain can be said about Equality New Mexico as well.

Not in this case, though.

What is most amazing is that I have never once heard of GLAAD, Media Matters, or any of the innumerable "Equality X" groups refraining from public tantrums, handling the matter in private consultation, and constructing elaborate apologia blaming culture, upbringing, and Santa Claus when a Republican does something they construe to be antigay. Indeed, it's invariably the opposite; no matter how obscure the person or oblique the statement, their reactions to it make the Spanish Inquisition look understanding and tolerant.

But, it seems, let a Democrat use words on a national radio program that they have previously had aneurysms over, and they not only ignore it, but do their best to deep-six it completely. Indeed, had Christopher Hubble not had the courage (and it is courage) to come forward and keep coming forward, what Richardson gleefully replied to Imus would still be on the back shelf of some moldy closet, half past the Nehru jacket and to the right of the mothballs.

Pity we can't put Hubble in charge of GLAAD or "Equality" New Mexico -- and tell the folks who work there now that, if they want to kiss politico ass, they can do it on the politico's dollar.

Ironic Saturday Thought

I am perpetually amused by people who loudly state, "No Republicans or God- believers" in their online profiles.

Especially while reading said profile because its owner sent a message about my being "hot".

Talk Amongst Yourselves......

we're off to New Mexico for the weekend.

Right On Tune....

I never thought I'd see it either....but there are rock stars with a sense of proportion.

There is indeed a very fine line between celebrities who do charity for charitable reasons and those who do it for self-aggrandizement.

Bono and Sharon Stone, in spades, are the former.

Al Gore and his entourage are clearly the latter.

And Of Course.....

Happy Independence Day!

I am marking the occasion of our nation's 231st birthday by a symbolic protest against out-of-control and unsafe exports from and unfair trade practices by China.

Translation: We're killing and rooting out the bamboo that is trying to tear down our back fence.

I Didn't Think They Even Went That Fast

Part of the reason I have avoided buying a Toyota Prius (aside from the fact that I have two serviceable cars already) is that, according to most sources, they are relentlessly non-sporty. According to automotive journalists, one at full throttle sounds like your microwave cooking a hot dog -- not exactly fulfilling to one's fantasies of driving at LeMans.

But apparently the little electron-burners do have some top end.

Al Gore III, 24, was driving a blue Toyota Prius about 100 mph on the San Diego Freeway when he was pulled over at about 2:15 a.m., Sheriff’s Department spokesman Jim Amormino said.

Given that even a Prius is polluting a relatively-enormous amount at that speed, that may be what constitutes rebellion among a Gore child.

Bet he was listening to sexually-explicit music, too.

Hi-Larious Hy-Pocrisy

Sorry for not getting this up sooner, but it's been a busy weekend. Let us just say that the last thing I remember was walking into Macy's to look at new towels.....and everything else is a blank, right up until we came to with paintbrushes in our hands and a redecorated pair of bathrooms.

Anyway, Matt Foreman, of NGLTF fame, whining (as we reported last week) about the possibility of un-gaying babies in utero:

As Matt Foreman from the Task Force put it, “It’s not playing with the number of toes you have; it’s really manipulating your very essence. So many people see gay people only in terms of sexual behavior, as opposed to what sexual orientation is really about, which is how you fit into the world. I don’t want to get mushy, but it’s about your soul.”

Uh huh. But a few weeks before that:

Any woman needs to be able to terminate a pregnancy when her life will be degraded on account of it, no matter her sexual orientation, no matter how she became pregnant.

This is about much more than access to abortion, as important as that is. It is about who controls our bodies and our sexualities. Reproductive freedom and gay rights are inextricably intertwined.

So, to summarize:

1. Babies in utero are beings with souls
2. It is awful and evil to change the sexual orientation of those babies, as it is an affront to their souls.
3. Killing these babies, however, is no affront to their souls at all, and is actually a good thing, an expression of "freedom" that supports "gay rights".
   

Being straight is many things, not all of them pleasant, but I doubt even the most hardcore queen would choose death over it, as Mr. Foreman seems to prefer.

Unless, of course, one's being gay is really the only thing they have going for them.....

Two and Two Make 400

The eagle eye of Jamie over at I Must Be Dreaming captured this.....edifying....picture and story for the morning.

At the same time, on my interminable Caltrain trek, I was reading this.

And people wonder why healthcare costs so much today.

Believe me, I do understand. My genetics are prone to storing fat (badly). My belly grows when I don't get enough sleep or when I have an impending deadline at work. And especially when you're in a hurry, for one of as parsimonious ways as I, that $1 double cheeseburger looks quick, filling, and to be a good value.

But at some point, people, we gotta say....you can blame genetics, environment, and George Bush for the fact that you can't see your feet without a mirror, but the simple fact of the matter is that the biggest influence on you being fat is your own behavior.

That's not a PC stance to take, but it's God's own truth.

Human beings should be able to fit in an MRI with a 350-lb weight limit. People should be able to contain their ass within one airline seat (or folding chair). Seatbelt extenders should be something car dealers order from Detroit, not stocked in quantities of 100 in the parts department.

Unless you are a pregnant woman (for whom all is forgiven) or an NFL lineman, these should be as inexorably written as the Ten Commandments. And if you are outside the boundary lines, you don't NEED an MRI or CT scan to tell you what your health problem is.

Eat less and exercise. As Twatty McGee might put it, "Honey, there just ain't another way."

The Sky Is Falling

Or so certain people would have you believe, given yesterday's Supreme Court ruling against educational districts using race as a determinant in school assignments.

As far as I'm concerned, this decision was a slam-dunk. Students were being told they could not attend their choice of schools because of their race. That was the reason that Brown v. BOE was ever filed in the first place.

But, as always, the moonbats came crawling out of the woodwork to explain why the decision was wrong, wrong, evil, racist, halitosis, wrong.

Especially amusing to me was this quote:

"The 5-4 decision reflects the narrowest of court majorities, but it has the potential to touch the lives of many by making it unlawful for public school officials and their communities to consider race among other factors in taking needed steps to address the resegregation of a critically important institution that is more segregated today than it was 30 years ago."

— Cassandra Butts, senior vice president for domestic policy at the Center for American Progress.

Ummm.....OK....so you're mad at the Court for striking down desegregation plans that have resulted in schools being more segregated than they were when you instituted them in the first place.

And along the same inane lines:

Experts say segregation contributes to the educational achievement gap among poor black and Latino students, because it typically means they are stuck in schools with the highest teacher turnover and the lowest rates of parental involvement.

Which, of course, will be solved by importing some white and Asian kids.

No need to do crazy things like....you know....get the parents involved, which would probably also help with, like, discipline, and might then lead to, maybe, a better classroom environment, which could, uh, make more teachers stay, and kinda sorta, lead to better education.

Here I've thought all these years that we could achieve better schools through such dry and esoteric things as testing and enforcing strong academic standards, when it's just like a seasoning rub for steak; all you need is the correct mix of salt and pepper.

Small Minds Corrupting Smaller Ones

Remember Hamas's psychotic Mickey Mouse lookalike who we reported on previously?

If you thought there was no lower level to which they could sink.....there is.

A Mickey Mouse lookalike who preached Islamic domination on a Hamas-affiliated children's television program was beaten to death in the show's final episode Friday.

In the final skit, "Farfour" was killed by an actor posing as an Israeli official trying to buy Farfour's land. At one point, the mouse called the Israeli a "terrorist."

"Farfour was martyred while defending his land," said Sara, the teen presenter. He was killed "by the killers of children," she added.

.

A Hypocritical UN Bureaucrat? Surely You Jest.....

Witness the height of condescension and self-righteousness over the (justified) collapse of the Senate's amnesty bill.

President Bush's plan to legalize as many as 12 million unlawful immigrants from around the world while fortifying the border collapsed in the U.S. Senate on Thursday.

"This is very bad news for Mexican migrants in the U.S.," said Jorge Bustamante, special rapporteur to the U.N. human rights commission for migrants. "It means the continuation and probably a worsening of the migrants' vulnerable conditions."

Yes, because we all know how wonderfully Bustamante's home country of Mexico treats their illegal immigrants.

Mexico had an extremely strict immigration law for both legal and illegal immigrants until recent changes brought on by a new bill. Certain legal rights are waived in the case of foreigners, such as the right to a deportation hearing or other legal motions. In cases of flagrant delicts, such as a person declaring they entered the country illegally, any citizen may make a citizen's arrest on the offender and his accomplices, turning them over without delay to the nearest authorities. Only Mexicans by birth or naturalization and Mexican companies have the right to acquire ownership of lands, waters, and their appartenances, or to obtain concessions for the exploitation of mines or of waters. Mexicans have priority over foreigners under equality of circumstances for all classes of concessions and for all employment, positions, or commissions of the Government in which the status of citizenship is not indispensable. Foreigners can serve in the military only during wartime.

Hobson's Choice

I am of two minds on The Malcontent's poll question for today.

Should I just give up on my ban of North Dallas Thirty?

• Yes
• No

On the one side, yes, I'd love to be able to comment there again. Despite our battles -- or perhaps because of them -- I have enormous respect for Matt and Robbie's insight, savvy, and video capture capabilities.

But on the other hand, "give up" makes it sound like I've just worn them down and bullied my way back onto their blog, as if Matt thinks it's a waste of time to continue blocking and deleting my comments.

I don't want to play that way.

If Matt and Robbie think I can make a reasonable and positive contribution to their community, then that would be grounds for unbanning.

But if they think I won't, but they're tired of dealing with it, then they shouldn't unban me.

Either way, I will continue to link them when needed, praise them copiously when warranted, and criticize when required.

Although I will say that the bar has been significantly raised as to what level actions will "require" criticism.

39.2 Million Suckers

Harsh, yes.

But when one considers this:

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, the first female candidate with a serious shot at the presidency, drew the night's largest cheer when she suggested there was a hint of racism in the way AIDS is addressed in this country.

"Let me just put this in perspective: If HIV-AIDS were the leading cause of death of white women between the ages of 25 and 34 there would be an outraged, outcry in this country," said the New York senator.

but remembers this:

It is with sadness that I learn about your efforts to block the bipartisan Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Modernization Act of 2006 (S. 2823) and gut the funding formula reforms supported by 19 of the 20 Senators on the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee. I must share with you the bewilderment of African Americans throughout the country who cannot understand why you are taking this stand against opening the door to more equitable funding that will chiefly benefit people of color who currently have nowhere to turn but the federal government.

African Americans have overtaken every other ethnic group to become the face of HIV/AIDS in America, and we all have a duty to ensure that every black American living with HIV/AIDS has equal access to the care and support services needed from the federal Ryan White CARE Act to stay healthy and stay alive.

As with most health care problems, people of color are now disproportionately impacted by HIV/AIDS, much more so than at any time since AIDS emerged in 1981. But the current Ryan White CARE Act funding formulas have never been updated to fit the changing epidemic, creating growing inequities that have thrown many patients onto waiting lists for life-saving drugs because money has run out in their states, particularly in the South.

Women of color in the South are 26 times more likely to be HIV- positive than white females. But a third of all Ryan White CARE Act funding is set aside for large metropolitan areas, and most of the states in the South will never qualify. African Americans make up 19 percent of the South's population, but accounted for over 60 percent of all new AIDS cases in 2003. Eight southern states have to treat the same number of people with HIV/AIDS as other states which get more funding under the outdated formulas.

The growing inequities are obvious and unacceptable. Addressing these gaps requires bipartisan compromise. I urge you to join that effort and not to obstruct it.

Your effort to wipe out the adjustment to the hold-harmless provision in Title I, and leave it at 95 percent for three years, will gut the funding that the reforms were trying to secure. It will render the Title I reforms meaningless and sentence African Americans in the rural South to three more years of waiting lists for AIDS drugs and vital services. People in the rural south don't have the tax base or the state resources to survive without federal help in a crisis. Efforts to gut the federal funding in the committee's mark of S. 2823 shows a disturbing misunderstanding for the health care interests of the whole nation and the whole African American community. The CARE Act is a national program, and it's imperative that we fight to make sure it serves all Americans fairly in 2006.

....harsh words seem more than warranted.

In short, Hillary Clinton is badmouthing and calling racist her own refusal to direct HIV funding to the black communities who need it the most -- because her predominantly-white gay Democrat donors in New York City didn't want to go without Gray Goose at their galas.

But does the black community call her on it? No.

What this makes beyond obvious is that Hillary Clinton is a hypocritical liar who will self-righteously condemn in one venue what she practices and pushes in another.

But really, who is more at fault here, the one who lies to and backstabs the minority group.........or the minority group that says nothing and lets them get away with it?

Pride Schedules of the Bourgeois and Overcommitted

• 6 AM: Wake up, throw on grungies, walk dog
• 6:30 AM: Clean Safeway out of bags of ice and preordered sandwiches
• 7 AM: Arrive at home of volunteer leader at agreed-upon previous time, find volunteer leader barely awake and begging for revival formula infusion from Starbucks
• 8 AM: Set up booth at Civic Center, dodging and watching dance/smelling people who are still lit/stoned/whatever from previous night and who have been so busy entertaining themselves, they forgot to bathe
• 9 AM: Find parking spot reasonably close to teardown entrance (five blocks), run down to Muni (six blocks), run uphill from Muni to where car is parked (six blocks), step on it.
• 10 AM: Freshly showered, shaved, reclothed in aforementioned kilt and hat, making mad dash down hill to BART station
• 10:45 AM: Arrive at float fifteen minutes after start of parade, following SRO (Sardine Room Only) BART ride
• 12:45 PM: Float begins to move (yes, two hours later.)
• 1:15 PM: Finish mad dash down Market from Beale to Eighth Street (a distance of 1.35 miles) while pushing handcart loaded with beads, making air-to-air refueling stops with people handing down buckets of beads from float, and dodging Muni tracks, Muni grates, and assorted drunks not associated with Muni.
• 1:30 PM: Fight way through crowd to booth
• 4 PM: Leave booth to run friends back to house to get luggage
• 5:30 PM: Return to booth. (To put that in perspective, approximately 15 minutes of that gap was actually devoted to time in house and eating. Such is the beauty of Muni scheduling and the fact that a half-million people basically had no other way to get around San Francisco yesterday -- the latter seeming to have zero effect on the former).
• 5:31 PM: Can of sugar-free Red Bull consumed. Later determined to be 7th of 9 for the day.
• 6 PM: Tear down booth
• 7:15 PM: Load up booth -- after hour-plus spent guarding booth contents in collapsing festival that looks like a live performance of West Side Story without music, dancing, or Leonard Bernstein, but with far more intoxication, screaming, and threatening gestures than the original
• 7:45 PM: Finish unloading booth into storage
• 9 PM: Arrive home, thanks to kind friend who notices that bus drivers traversing the Castro are all on simultaneous 45-minute coffee breaks
• 9:15 PM: Walk four blocks down- and uphill to get takeout
• 10 PM: Collapse

Why, you ask?

Because, at the end of the day, we brought joy and happiness to several, eye candy to most, and raised somewhere in the neighborhood of $2,000 for people with HIV/AIDS.

That's why.

Does This Confirm Anyone's Suspicions?

You scored as Hermione Granger, You're one intelligent witch, but you have a hard time believing it and require constant reassurance. You are a very supportive friend who would do anything and everything to help her friends out. Hermione Granger 85% Albus Dumbledore 85% Harry Potter 80% Ron Weasley 65% Ginny Weasley 60% Sirius Black 50% Remus Lupin 50% Draco Malfoy 40% Severus Snape 30% Lord Voldemort 15% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

That, and people have trouble pronouncing and spelling my given name correctly, too.

(h/t Army of Mom)

I Am Proud....To Survive It

As you may or may not know, this is Pride Weekend in San Francisco, which means you're going to be seeing very unusual things on the street.....well, more than you usually see, anyway. 18th and Castro are overflowing with queers out and about, the pink triangle is up on Twin Peaks -- and my legs are already hurting.

If you've always wanted to watch our Pride Parade, but weren't within our receiver range, this is your year; through the miracle of modern technology, it will be featured globally on live webcast on Clear Channel's Shake Radio and on our local station KRON, starting at 10:30 AM Pacific time.

For those of you who prefer women, be sure to arrive on time; for those of you who prefer men, you will have about thirty or so minutes to be fashionably late, since it takes approximately that long for the Dykes to move their bikes, bob cuts, and bared boobies the length of the parade route (they go first -- no questions).

Yes, NDT will be in the parade this year, once again in vest and kilt, and a hat of some sort, working tirelessly to keep kiddies and drunks from running out into the street in front of our float, and probably handing out some sort of bauble to the crowd.

Wave if you spot me. ;)

Confirming the Obvious

Read.

Especially this part:

MSNBC.com identified 144 journalists who made political contributions from 2004 through the start of the 2008 campaign, according to the public records of the Federal Election Commission. Most of the newsroom checkbooks leaned to the left: 125 journalists gave to Democrats and liberal causes. Only 17 gave to Republicans. Two gave to both parties.

Perhaps the most ironic twist of all is that Fox News, which does not ban political contributions outright and is castigated as being completely anti-Democrat, in fact has many people who contribute substantial amounts to Democrats -- while organizations which ostensibly ban contributions in the name of fairness have virtually no contributions that are made going to Republicans.

Well....Duh

Mingle² - Online Dating

Not that this surprises me too much; after all, this blog has never shied from discussing such things as nakedness, HIV, unprotected sex, and the other stuff you're not supposed to mention in rooms where there are plastic covers on the furniture.

But, given that I am an obstreperous bastard, I would like to dedicate a song to the raters out of love and respect.

Toodles!

Not Safe For...Ewwwwwwww!!!!

Courtesy of one of my relatives who is fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to live nearby.

Yes, you can click on the picture and make it larger -- but before you do, consider that I may have made it the smallest size possible for a reason.



Nine feet, 1 inches long and ninety-seven pounds, if anyone's counting.

And yes, it's real. It was killed at Hillsdale Lake just south of Kansas City -- which may alarm some new homeowners therein.

UPDATE: Thanks to astute reader Prairie Biker, we may now state that the location and exact weight of the snake is questionable. Apparently this appeared in one spot and has been making the rounds on the Internets of late, with the location changing over time.

Now that that's clarified, if you'll excuse me, I have to finish responding to that nice wealthy widow in Nigeria.......

Anyone Got a Spare Ten Mil?

'Cause I have plans......wonderful plans.....

Brave New Whorled

Matt over at yon Malcontent has up a linkage to an article discussing what appear to be certain characteristics strongly associated with gayness -- in particular, being prone to left-handedness or ambidexterity, and the way in which the hair whorls on one's head spin.

In short, if you spin Southern Hemisphere, you're more likely to be straight, and if you spin Northern Hemisphere, the odds are better that you're not (which still doesn't explain why there are so many hot men in Australia, but I digress).

Crazy, right?

Well, thanks to my admittedly-unusual background, I can tell you.....not really.

Horse trainers and rodeo cowboys have made observation for years that the position of the hair whorl on the forehead of a horse or a cow relative to a horizontal line drawn between its eyes and a vertical line down the middle of its forehead to its nose is a good predictor of its temperament. In bulldogging, a steer whose hair whorl is below that horizontal line tends to keep its head down and plod, meaning you have to reach lower; in contrast, one that is above the line tends to be flighty, faster, and -- paradoxically -- a stopper, who when you pass it on your horse, will probably slam on the brakes, jerk its head up, and knock your teeth out if you're not careful. Same with horses; the more their whorl varies from the crosshairs -- where those two lines meet -- the less desirable their behavior.

Of course, tobacco-addled folk like myself aren't always the best judges of what's what, so one day an amazing person -- a lady by the name of Temple Grandin, whose life is a story in and of itself and who I've had the pleasure to work and speak with -- decided to test this scientifically. Sure enough, she found that it WAS true -- cattle with whorls that were off-kilter, or no whorls at all, tended to be more agitated and showed behavior like high heads and jerky movements like we in the rodeo area know so well (and painfully). Furthermore, as Temple pointed out in more detail (search for "Hair whorls"), the hair whorls are formed from the same embryonic layer at the same time that the brain is forming, which would provide some degree of explanation for their seeming predictive power on behavior.

An interesting and disquieting point in Temple's research, though, is that a strong correlate for it comes from human studies; namely, it has been known for quite some time that humans with Down's syndrome, Prader-Willi syndrome, schizophrenia, and autism tend to exhibit unusual physical traits, such as abnormal hair whorls, a higher tendency towards left-handedness, and a high number of physical anomalies -- i.e. relative finger lengths and appendage sizes -- than the average person with none of these.

On the one (left) hand, that makes a strong argument for homosexuality being in large part biological; all of these particular syndromes have a strong genetic component, with environmental factors playing more of a trigger role than a shaping role. However, on the other hand, that makes of homosexuality a brain misfire -- or, as Doctor Laura famously (and tactlessly) put it, a "biological error".

On the other hand, the implications of this are a bit to the right of cataclysmic. In the majority of the cases of syndromes just mentioned, people can bring themselves closer to "normal", if you will, through medication, therapy, and learning to work around the limitations of their particular situation.

Can the same thing be said for gays? Should the same thing be said for gays?

The answer, in my opinion, is: it all depends. I cannot say that homosexuality is always a blessing, any more than someone else can say it is always a curse. There are simply too many situations, too many scenarios, in which it is one, either, both, or even neither. We all know lives that started and stopped, families torn apart and put back together, utmost joy and blackest despair.

I suppose it all boils down to this; whatever works best for you. And that is why I will not bother getting excited or upset about "ex-gay" organizations, or reparative therapy, or potentially curbing homosexual urgings through drugs, or un-gaying babies in the womb; they will work for some people.

But not for me, thanks.

Meh.....

Matt over at InterstateQ has posted an interesting statement, allegedly by an associate of Tyler Whitney.

Which immediately brought to mind the following quotation from Macbeth:

it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

I suppose one could get more excited than that, but frankly, I've been called worse by marginally better, and I'm well past the point of caring about what someone who will put that much vitriol into a statement says.

Granted, saying outrageous, deliberately-inflammatory, and downright childish things has made Ann Coulter a lot of money....but whoever "Saint Joe McCarthy" is, they ain't even no Ann Coulter.

Meme, May, Mah, Mo, Moo.......

It seems that the latest thing in the blog circles in which I run is the meme -- which, loosely defined, is like a chain letter that doesn't bring down curses on you and your family if you fail to complete it.

I think.

At any rate, since everyone else is baring their souls, I might as well; after all, this blog has never shied from (Not Safe For Work) baring anything.

So here goes:
_____________________________________________________________________________

The Rules:

-- Post the rules, then list 8 things about yourself.
-- At the end of the post, tag and link to 8 other people.
-- Leave a comment at those sites, letting them know they’ve been tagged, and asking them to come read the post so they know what to do.

_____________________________________________________________________________

"Riff off other peoples' answers" wasn't in there, but it wasn't excluded either.....so, as the Greeks used to say, "Adiaphora".

1. My cooking falls at the low end of the metrosexual range. That is, I can cook well when required to impress someone, but still make a substantial withdrawal from the Trader Joe's freezer aisle every week.

And before you ask, my husbear is a great cook; the problem is that neither of us wants to spend the time necessary in the kitchen to do it on a daily basis.


2. I eat things plain. Double cheeseburgers, plain, Taco Bell tacos, no lettuce, and can you bring me some real bread and butter instead of this double-herb crusted oily dripping virgin focaccia something-or-another?


3. I work out 3.5 times weekly (four one week, three the next) -- a habit I started when I....


4. Played football. Middle school, high school, and college. Really. Starting linebacker at all levels, even made all-American in college.

And no, locker-room scenes never really turned me on. Probably because a room you associate with puking after wind sprints is not one in which romantic or sexual moods flourish.


5. Nicknames I had throughout my football career included "Professor", "Maverick", "Express", "Will" (for weakside linebacker -- insert your own ironic "and Grace" here), and "Bucket Butt".

The last referred to my rump SIZE, not to any particular characteristics of it. Honestly!


6. While on the topic of quasi-manly pursuits, I rodeoed in college and afterwards on a nominally-professional basis; I also taught the university's horse training class for undergraduates, which is what I blame for my then-consumption of a can a day of Copenhagen Black.

(Yes, I quit eventually. Some guys thought it was sexy; most were neither impressed or amused.)


7. Boilermaker, cosmopolitan, Amstel Light, Miller Light, Diet Coke, and tap water.

In reverse order.


8. My husbear and I met online.

Some evening you, too, may be messaged by a man and end up selling your house, quitting your job, and moving halfway across the country to a city in which you swore you would never live under any circumstances -- and it was the best decision I ever made.

Your mileage may vary.


Now that that's over, I can only think of a few people to whom to send this:

1. Sonicfrog

2. Jimbo.Info

3. Army of Mom

4. Lab Kat

5. See Jane Mom

6. Cake or Death?

7. Charging Rhino

8. Gryphmon's Grumbles

(Sorry. The meme must be obeyed. I have enough enemies already........)

Rule #1 For Effective Analogy

Use one that works.

And suddenly, I have this vision of Wayne and Garth suddenly turning to each other as the jet thunders overhead, and...um....well....doing it like....

Robbie Nailed It

Word.

(Sorry -- the "Simpsons" episode featuring N'Sync is on this week, so I've had that on the brain).

Update: Other bloggers have started to weigh in with good reads -- The Conjecturer, GayPatriotWest, Rick Sincere, and even a few unexpected spots that are getting a sudden lesson in what happens when you go against the gay grain.

If nothing else, that last gives me hope.

If You Can't Handle It, Block It

Well, Signorile has banned me from his blog -- which is not surprising; after all, he didn't get where he did by allowing people who told the truth to stay around him for long.

Just in case he gets in a deleting mode, though, it seems I should record for posterity the comment I left him last night, in response to his own, that has him all apopolectic.

Um, no, I would like Tancredo to say, gee, I have a loyal staffer who's gay so I DO support employment non-discrimination for gays.
The fact that he employs a gay person speaks volumes for the fact that he does not discriminate in employment against them.

You, in turn, could make it clear that you oppose abuse of nondiscrimination laws by gays, such as in the case of Bonnie Bleskachek.

I want him to say that he DOESN'T support an ammendent to the Constitution of the United States to make gays second class citizens (Federal Marriage Amendment), which he voted for and spearheaded.

Please. You don't even demand that of your own Democrat candidates, nor do you blast gays and gay organizations who support them.

One would think that you would be just as inclined to bash those gays and those candidates -- but that would be only if one wasn't aware of what party and what gay organizations keep you in chardonnay.

Next:

I want him to say that it is GOOD for gays to adopt children in DC, which he voted against allowing.

Well, one of your fellow gay Democrats and HRC supporters thinks otherwise when it comes to gay parenting.

And if you go to my conservative blog, you'll find I have a great deal to say about it. Mostly involving the tendency of you and your commentors to indulge in the sort of hate speech and threats of violence that you affect to despise from the religious right.

Finally, it is North Dallas THIRTY. "North Dallas Forty" should be reserved for the passable novel by Pete Gent and the somewhat-disquieting movie with Nick Nolte.
North Dallas Thirty | Homepage | 06.13.07 - 12:56 am | #

And note that, unlike Signorile, I feel no particular need to block his minions who are setting out to namecall me in my comment section with far less proof than I've put in his.

As Robbie of the Malcontent aptly puts it, "This week, everyone's favorite sad, leftist mess dines on the blood of gay young in a limp attempt at remaining relevant outside of his private circle of elite coastal fags who honestly believe the rest of homosexualdom not living in New York gives a rat's ass."

Heck, They Can't Even Get Facts Straight

As I alluded to yesterday, my commentary over on Signorile's blog isn't being taken very well; in response to my pointing out with clear references their support of what they had previously termed homophobic, they released a wave of whisper-gossip that frankly, I haven't seen the level of since my stint of teaching sixth-graders.

My favorite, though, has to be from commentor "Rick".

I noticed this 'North Dallas Forty' character splattering outrageously homophobic comments all over the blogs. So I did a little digging and guess what I found: about a year ago he was found to have issued a jihad of death threats against gay bloggers like Mike Rogers. He is one of those nut cases just like the ones who blow up Planned Parenthood and issue edicts against abortion doctors. He is a total nut case. He even had to shut down his website after legal action was taken.

Of course, that has no references whatsoever -- probably because of these little issues:

1) He has me confused with GayPatriot.

2) He got incorrect what GayPatriot actually did.

3) He missed that I criticized GayPatriot for what GayPatriot did.

4) He apparently is ignorant, inadvertently or willfully, of what Mike Rogers did to GayPatriot's friends and associates.

What makes this particularly hilarious is that this post from "Rick" came despite my having pointed several of these facts out to "Demesne Lord" -- who, despite knowing the truth of the matter and commenting in the same thread, hasn't seen fit to inform "Rick" or the other commentors.

Again, not that this surprises me much; it's just amusing how blatantly obvious it is.

Update: As reported below, how could we forget JoeMyGod, whose hatemongering (and anonymous) commentors have posted not just Mr. Whitney's home address and phone numbers, but those of his PARENTS as well -- apparently so that their fellows who are out for blood could do their worst.

I'm clocking how long this stays up. Starting at 1:27 PM JoeMyGod commenting time.

UPDATE: And the addresses and phone numbers have been taken down -- as of the afternoon of June 17th.

Let's see, that's only what, three days?

And the same old excuse, of course:

I removed the addresses here once they were brought to my attention. I try to read all my comments, but sometimes the longer threads get away from me.

Apparently JoeMyGod isn't aware of the fact that you can actually READ all of your comments in Haloscan without having to go thread by thread.

It's on the same screen that you use to delete/edit them.