It's amazing how shabby your living room suddenly looks after you take the latest PlayStation console out of the box. The PlayStation 3 is all sleek lines and chrome accents, like a Sub-Zero refrigerator and a Porsche 911 had a wild weekend of sex -- ending up with an 11-pound, 20-gigabyte love child.
Um....all right. Things like that happen when you spend 48 hours in line to get something and a week playing it. Understandable.
But things get better (or worse) on the next page:
I have right here in my hot little hands that actually aren't all that little and are only slightly warm at the moment a brand new lick-ready smooth-as-love Apple MacBook Pro Core 2 Duo Super Orgasm Deluxe Ultrahard Modern Computing Device Designed by God Herself Somewhere in the Deep Moist Vulva of Cupertino Yes Yes Don't Stop Oh My God Yes.
HOO-kay.....back away slowly....don't make eye contact.....and for God's sake don't drop the soap....