Friday, November 17, 2006

Stupid Criminal Trick #576,948,098,003

Evidently running out of material about Britney and Fed-Ex, CNN and the New York Times chose today to air former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor's remarks from last week about a failed plot to kill all nine of the Supreme Court justices.
"Every member of the Supreme Court received a wonderful package of home-baked cookies, and I don't know why, (but) the staff decided to analyze them," the Fort Worth Star-Telegram quoted O'Connor as saying at the legal conference November 10 in the Dallas area. "Each one contained enough poison to kill the entire membership of the court."

Of course, the reason why is revealed in the Department of Justice's laconic summary:
Each envelope contained a one-page typewritten letter stating, either "I am" or "We are," followed by "going to kill you. This is poisoned."

This reminds me of a classic Calvin and Hobbes story, in which Calvin, on a whim, kidnaps neighborhood girl Susie Derkins's Binky Betsy doll and holds it for ransom, sending the following sinister note cleverly written in letters cut and pasted from magazines to disguise his handwriting and identity:


If you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in the envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us.



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