Saturday, May 26, 2007

For Those of You Not From San Francisco......

this bit takes a little setup.

First, two humpback whales wandered into the Port of Sacramento.

(Yes, you read that right -- the Port of Sacramento. For the record, that's around eighty miles from the Pacific, through the Golden Gate, up the length of the Bay, through the Carquinez Strait, then along a narrow deep-ship channel. Ask them how it happened.)

Next up, Carole Migden, state Senator, lesbian, and Harpo Marx hairstyle devotee, did a fine imitation of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride on I-80, blaming her erratic behavior and involvement in as many as three accidents on medications she had been taking for the past ten years finally working.

Moving forward, San Francisco City Supervisor Ed Jew is facing questions from the City, his constituents, and the FBI over a series of miracles that have occurred in his presence, including his moonlighting role in recommending "consultants" for whom he then collects the payments, but insists he has no conflict of interests, his magical safe that produces $20,000 in marked bills that he claims are for "park improvements", and the fact that anyone who enters the house that he claims establishes his residency in his district becomes invisible.

And finally, as most people know by now, Gavin Newsom wholly ruined the naughty fantasies of roughly half of the gay community by demonstrating that he is a staunch adherent of the finest in heterosexual traditions -- including philandering.

Enter Don Asmussen, the brilliant cartoonist and social commentator, to tie all of these together in his Bad Reporter comic for yesterday.

Genius. Sheer, unadulterated genius.

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